♥ Poem ♥
From Trojon to Athens Home
he lost his way and a good 10years.
With danger and adventure,
he all brisk through.
hail to home with rivalries.
O dear lord with all his wits,
all his rivals gone for good.
O dear Odysseus and Penelope
a love thatlast for eternal.
- YiNGZ -
♪ Entries
Friday, May 11, 2007
@
7:10 AM
People around me are having their happiness. Having their boyfriends to dote and spent time with them. Seriously, im a little jealous and envy at the same time. Had been feeling very lonely at nite recently and i dunno where and how to get this feeling off. I hate it...simply hate it.
I badly need that someone who know me inside out, who can tolerate my tempers and listen to what i wanna say. I used to tink that i owas had no lack of place to get off the woes inside me but now, not anymore. I feel that i am being cut off from the world. No ways and means to let everything out. Im scared that those stuff compressed in me will soon explode... or maybe a suicide? It feels that everyone have their own life, but i dont have.
I'd longed for that concern. Its in the family sometimes ago, but as time flows, i dunno where the concern had gone to. Issit my fault that in the first place i didn care enough? But the prob is, i dont care enough for everything. School work, money matters, family, frens and other stuff as well, i never care much. I never wanna care.
Warmth? Maybe its the thing that is lack in me. Or mayb, is like wat enting said before, i lack of that passion for life. Mayb i once had them? But again, i dunno where they had gone to. Coldness. Be it physically or mentally.
I'd wan love but firs i have to learn not to reject love. Rejecting concern, mocking at love, detesting closeness, avioding responsibility is owas my hindrance to love. To love, to need means to depend and to loose, which im afriad of all of them. Im so afraid of them that i deter away and pretend that i dont need love. I pretended that im owas aloof and alone.
I loose the ability to love somewhere along the road and i owas envy other who are owas deeply in love. I need someone to teach me to love and be loved. Just like someone teaching a baby to walk and talk patiently. I need the patient, and i need that someone to teach me!! BADLY!! DESPERATELY!!
I guess this is some kind of mental illness. I reali dunno when it will be cured, just hope that i wont do anything silly just to overcome the feeling of lonely....
End of Love? Wait a little longer perhaps.
