♥ Poem ♥
From Trojon to Athens Home
he lost his way and a good 10years.
With danger and adventure,
he all brisk through.
hail to home with rivalries.
O dear lord with all his wits,
all his rivals gone for good.
O dear Odysseus and Penelope
a love thatlast for eternal.
- YiNGZ -
♪ Entries
Thursday, May 31, 2007
@
7:11 AM
I know its like the dunno hw mani times i repeat myself again and again that i hate responsibilities. How i wish that my that sense of responsibility can go away so that i can get myself a good night rest and dont feel guilty. How i wish that i can be trusting in other people so that i can dump them with all the stuff and not care about anything. People have lots of things to be busy with, work, bf/gf, family, shopping, outing, studies. Yeah, onli i have nothing to do. Hw come they can do their stuff so feely without any guilt while i cnt?
I overestimated my own ability. Im like owas worrying over nothing, and even thats something serious, nobody will care anyway. If theres ways that i can handle matters myself, i wont even go around begging. I owas hate the feeling of being so vulnerable and looking at people faces, as if im vulnerable or inferior or wateva u call that. It simply sux too much. But, even when i do that, people will still give me ridiculous reasons that even a 3 year old child can give me. Happened again and again, tell myself again and again not to worry about stuff, but time and again, im owas panicking over these stuff, and time and again, i got rejected when i beg for help.
I can onli blame myself for worrying too much. I can only blame myself for taking too much within me. I can only blame myself when people dont appreciate. I can only blame myself for being so contridicting. I wanna have a good night rest but at the same time, i dont trust people. I rather do everything all by myself. Is it my problem, or the world's problem? I dunno, dont bother to answer. You guys will say its my problem anyway.
Hey, this gal is owas so skepital and cynical bout stuff. Yeah, you can say that. Indeed, I AM!! I dont wish to fend for myself. Those who know me well will know. I do care wat people think bout me, but times, i can dont care AT ALL!! Sorry and sad to say that, i owas wish to be alone. OWAS!! EVer since sec2 that stupid thing done by that stupid gal i owas wish to be alone. Yet, i noe its not possible. Its IMPOSSIBLE for one to live all alone. NOBODY HAD THE ABILITY. WE ARE DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER.
If i wasnt born now. If i was to born centuries ago, when everything seems possible. GO on wandering, fishing, farming, or even lived in an island where onli me and the animal exist, its paradise. SIMPLY PARADISE.
THE WORLD IS COMPLICATED. Frens turning into enemies, family become strangers, colleagues become devil, work becomes hell. F*** F*** F***. I jus wans to keep swearing till the end of the world. When people likes you, you are afraid of their support, but when people hates you, you have nothing to fear. You can do wateva you want, cos nothing is worse than that.
End of IF I CAN NOT CARE
