Tuesday, February 13, 2007
@ 7:28 AM

Time realli flies. 18 year old was once so far away and now i had past 18, reaching for 19. Children hope that they will grow up fast but once they pass a certain age, they actually hope that time will slow down for them. I am one of them and i think, many of you will like it too. How nice if i can ever stay on at 16years old. Howeva, if thats so, isnt that unfair to my parents? Year after year they have to slog for living expenses and im not growing up. I guess, thats the way life is, the younger generation will replace the older generation one day.
I browsed thru some photos today. These photos are taken last year. I had changed, my bro had changed, all my younger cousins had changed. I looked different, but the difference could not be compared with my bro and 2 other younger cousins who are at their puberty age. 3 of them had shook of those baby fats and childlike looks off their face. Now i could not call them kid or children anymore. Once upon time, you and me were at that period. Just one year and they had grew up.
How long will it take my sis, my other younger cousins to reach that stage? How long will it take for me to overcome the fear of growing up? Seriously im not prepared to grow up. I had grown so used to someone providing for me, doting and caring for me. I had grow so used to my family and i cant bear the thought that as time pass, the chances for me to loose them increases. I shudder at the thought of how fast time flies. I shudder at the thought that how soon my youth will turn into maturity. I shudder at the thought of all wild dreams will soon gone and being tied down by the reality of the society.
I had once thought that living the same life for over 40 over years is tiring and boring. I hated doing the same things over again. Life on earth for 18 years had been dynamic but i knew that once it is over 20, everything will remain the same, and my life will be stuck there. Meaningless and Boring.
However, isnt it better for me to admit that im jus an ordinary human being in this small small world, in this small small universe?
Seriously, how pathetic can this world turn children into. Children can have the wildest dream of all, but once theygrew up, they are tied up by all the As n Bs in ur report book, tied down by the stress brought by work. Then one day, we discover that we cnt shake off the restriction brought in by the perception of the world. We are afraid that how we are percieved by others. Are we ugly? Are we pretty? Are we successful? Are we pathetic? How are we doing exactly in the eye of the mudane world?
How i hope, one day i can shake off all these troubles, perceptions and restriction and roam the world. Some people can call it a form of escape from life, but im still struggling with my fate. I sincerely do not want to be tied down by the formulated life most people live. Staying in the office for the rest of my life simply seems too much for me.
Being ordinary isnt my fault, but living in people's expectation is my fault, leading a life i dont want is my fault. I can find a way. I believe so.

End of Time Flies