Monday, January 08, 2007
@ 8:52 AM

Well, last week i met one ex school mate. He looks matured and realli different from secondary school. Have some nice chat and den say goodbye to him. I tot that mayb, ONLI MAYBE that he can be the one for me since we can still talk after so long and he fits the bill for who i wan. But tts onli the appearance, the outside, not the inside.
Im wrong, REALLI Wrong. I can say that this guy, is yet another disappointment for me. He dont understand, and simply dont understand who am I, what kind of gal i am, what are the things im seeking for. No doubt that what he tell me about life goals and stuff like that is a kind of concern to me but I hate people nagging over the same thing for hours after hours. I HATE people trying to change my lifestyle, trying to interfere my life. I AM MYSELF, the one and onli me in this world. If you are my fren, shouldnt u jus accept for who i am? So whats wrong with being playful and short sighted? I noe what i am doing, i noe bout all the adult issues but i jus dont wanna tink bout it. Not now, not in this stage of life. Its time for some fooling and foolishness. After this period of time, as an adult, you will never be back.
Though its a disappointment but i still can laugh. Laugh at my own stupidity for almost falling for someone who is so not my type and also happy that i need not pin for the impossible. The guy for me will soon come and he will make me feel that im special. At the same time, trusting and accepting me for who i am. However, i mus admit that this disappointment had almost make me feel hopeless. Though i believe that this special guy will come along and make me feel special but who will it be? Issit possible that this one guy will reali appear? Not the firs time these question pop inside my head but all answers are jus not found. THey will onli stop popping onli till answers are found.
Im hopless. Hopeless bout guys. Not say that i will become a lesbian but i jus wanna cut off my need to feel loved, my need to love. All these needs are jus to irritating and make me feel so fustrated each time i tink bout them. O god, when can the answers be found?
Howeva, stil thanz to him that i feel that im lucky once. When Li Heng plays a big part of my life. He actually tinks that we are once together. I realli have to thanz him for thinking it that way cos this will makes me feel better that Li Heng, is once my fren, someone who is quite close .Though, the truth may not be so.
I realli hope that, this is the last time, i feel so vulnerable and helpless towards these issues. Haiz..

End of Another disappointment-- Desperateness