Monday, July 17, 2006
@ 7:42 AM

He owas bring me to heaven n push me to hell. This time, theres a possibility that i mayb wrong n i mayb right. If im wrong, that means im too easily swayed by words n not enough trust in him. I may sounds like a over possessive girlfren here though im not but as a fren, i still hope that he dont lies. Wateva the reason n motive it is, lies often hurts alot. Like someone did it to me a few years ago. A broken promise till now that i wonder why that person did not try to keep it. If he dont wan, he cn jolly well tell me that he dont wan to make that deal wth me. Hurt was all i feel and 3yrs later, history repeat itself jus that the male lead had been changed to another guy. Mayb i make too much empty promises, told too much lies that retribuition comes around.
Last night i have a nightmare due to the lies he gave me. I dreamt that May, Enting n me were walking in the school. Howeva, no matter where we are, Alan's owas there n with that mocking laughter. Mocking at me for throwing myself at him.
Liking him, maybe a big mistake. For so long, nothing happens and everything seems to go well n getting worse at the same time. Getting complicated and out of hand. How i hope everything cn be reverse, back to the time that i started to fall for him. During that time, my expectation was still not so high. Now, its getting higher n higher that it got out of control. I sincerely seriously wanna break away from it but...I cnt. I wan someone who will treasure me like i treasure me. Not someone who makes me laugh n cry the same time. Not someone that makes me feel like being a fool.
Today is FIT presentation. The teacher tell us that for details n facility wise, we are the best though we lack in something. For PR wise, its Hanloon's group the best. At least our effort paid off. Hope we can get as high marks as possible. Heehee.
I screwed up EC project. For that period of time, i realli feels so stupid useless n damn clumsy. Today is a day i have the lowest self esteem in my whole life. All my confident were gone to nowhere.
Thats all for today. Not a very pleasent day though. Night everyone.

End of Lies