Friday, February 01, 2008
@ 4:54 AM

I know i will miss you. But once again goodbye & nvr look back...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
@ 5:32 AM

Its simply a fuck up day. With tons and tons of stuff making me so fustrated.
Idiotic. Bitches and dumb.
Sick of that so call holy school which suppose to be symbolism of innocence.
Innocence?
Pls all i c is jus those sickening bloody arrogant faces and fakeness.
All I c, is people making use of another.
All I c, is people seeking for companionship because of one asshole project.

Dont put me off like im some kind of idiot.
Give me an immediate answer, YES or NO!!
Bitches...

Dont put expectations on me.
I hate that kind of longing look.
As if i gotta give for every single thing i get.

Stop disturbing me when u got me so fustrated.
Im not ur doggy, which i can come and go as u wish.
You are not sorry and yet your want my forgiveness.

Im tired. I wish to go back yet I cant.
4 more months of school and I can only hope that days jus went by like tt....

End of Idiotic school

Monday, August 20, 2007
@ 6:07 AM

Its been a reali long time since i last blog. Had it been one month or two month? I reali dont rmb nw but anyway for those who had been making an effort to look back at this blog, im back today. Had been dealing with my chinese blog, no matter wat, my chinese is still better than my eng. Maybe some of you can try visiting it at www.wretch.cc/blog/xqueenyingx . Just some channel for me to express my thoughts and views about certain issues.
Well, its exam period and first time ever in my life, im so stress over exams. 5 full module and each of them is all memorising work. I totally sux at memorising stuff, how i missed last semester when i have 2 calculating modules to spare me. But anyway, its not my style to mug totally for exams. As and when i will give myself a break from the lecture notes, and free myself to tv or youtube. Hehe.
As september is nearing, its been almost one year since Fahrenheit release their first album. I can foresee that for the future one or two months, the market will be bombarded with all their products. From what i know will be 2 sets of shows and 2 CD (including one OST), just that they had not yet been shipped to Singapore. I guess by then, my Fahrenheit Craze period will be back. But now, its not Chun anymore, aiming a new guy... XD. I had looked up the few music stores these few days for Danson Tang's CD. Its out in Taiwan on the 18th and yet, the stores are still not sure when they will have it in Singapore. GOD!!! I think i had to wait for at least 2 weeks or worse months. I realli cnt wait to get my hands on the CD. Its nice and worth buying for.
When im at JP today, saw 2 of my sec frens. Well, not reali frens. In fact, theres some sort of misunderstanding between me and one of the guy. Heh, im actually quite happy and some how feel abit proud of myself cos in some ways, i think i changed their views towards me. Those who used to think lowly of me had no chance to say that im ugly any more. It feels so good when guys look at you. Wahaha. Ok, i went abit too far...
O ya, today went for the local movie 881 on the Lunar Seventh Month Getai, the special practice in Singapore. Hmm...im totally so involved in the show. I cried alot and had not regretted in watching the show. The director, Royston Tan's style suits me alot. I watched one of his short flim before, and i find it good. The same goes for this show. Though some of the previews comments and feedbacks are not that good, but i believe that i get what the director is trying to convey. Hmm...not those typical commercial movie, a little of theatre effects were added in, which is just right for me. Ya, the hokkien songs are nice too.
So... 2 papers down and still have 3 to go. Soon, i will be release from the hell im going through now and continue my route to beauty. Ahaha..im preparing to meet my idols, waiting for them to come Singapore. Must present the best of myself when i meet them. :)
Okie, thats all. NIte everybody and i will try to come back here if i can. Cos like i said, im reali stuck with my Chinese blog, so determined to make it a successful one :D

End of Life Recently

Thursday, June 07, 2007
@ 10:03 AM

Common test is over but dont tink i will do very well. I owas sux and memorising work and somemore, im over confident for comp le. End out not enought time to memorise everything well and got everything mix up, causing me to crap in exam hall. Shit, its been so long that i crap lo, dunno hw will i do for comp paper. Haiz...
Then went for steamboat with Enting, Hanloon and Yongsin today at Marina South. Ate quite alot of stuff, haha i so happy, loads of prawns. Yeah!! Den i eat one very big clam like thing. I dunno what issit call, but its nice. Wanted to eat mussels den, but dont have, so the nearest subsitute i can find will be the clam thing. Should have eaten more, but i noe more of that and my rashes will come :(
As usual, eating with them is lame but fun. Budden one thing not fun is Hanloon and Enting eat very little and dey said that they are full. Its like im jus warm up and dey say dey are full. Me and Yongsin ate away another hour plus after dey stop. Haiz. Like that twelve dollar gone sia, should have eaten more. The fun of eating steamboat is when everybody starts to cook together..woohoo, e feeling is super good.
Wonder why i ate so much today? Issit cos i so long never eat these kind of steamboat le or issit cos eating while chatting is actuali an entertainment? Budden after eating so much, im still not full neh, in fact i start to feel hungey when im on the train going home. LOL, if this continues, i will become a FAT PIG!!!
Anyway, flip through some neoprints today and is like wow, 2 years can change people quite alot. Time reali can do wonders, but at the same time it can do serious damage too :( Everybody more or less look different as compared to year 1. Enting definitely look prettier than before, and ahaha of course me myself. Yeah!! I noe im bhbing
Okie, anyway enough of the fun and next week tink is project week le. It will all be work work and work. Haiz, thats the way of life and one more month, we will be through. Yeah again.
Nite everybody :)

End of Munching food

Thursday, May 31, 2007
@ 7:11 AM

I know its like the dunno hw mani times i repeat myself again and again that i hate responsibilities. How i wish that my that sense of responsibility can go away so that i can get myself a good night rest and dont feel guilty. How i wish that i can be trusting in other people so that i can dump them with all the stuff and not care about anything. People have lots of things to be busy with, work, bf/gf, family, shopping, outing, studies. Yeah, onli i have nothing to do. Hw come they can do their stuff so feely without any guilt while i cnt?
I overestimated my own ability. Im like owas worrying over nothing, and even thats something serious, nobody will care anyway. If theres ways that i can handle matters myself, i wont even go around begging. I owas hate the feeling of being so vulnerable and looking at people faces, as if im vulnerable or inferior or wateva u call that. It simply sux too much. But, even when i do that, people will still give me ridiculous reasons that even a 3 year old child can give me. Happened again and again, tell myself again and again not to worry about stuff, but time and again, im owas panicking over these stuff, and time and again, i got rejected when i beg for help.
I can onli blame myself for worrying too much. I can only blame myself for taking too much within me. I can only blame myself when people dont appreciate. I can only blame myself for being so contridicting. I wanna have a good night rest but at the same time, i dont trust people. I rather do everything all by myself. Is it my problem, or the world's problem? I dunno, dont bother to answer. You guys will say its my problem anyway.
Hey, this gal is owas so skepital and cynical bout stuff. Yeah, you can say that. Indeed, I AM!! I dont wish to fend for myself. Those who know me well will know. I do care wat people think bout me, but times, i can dont care AT ALL!! Sorry and sad to say that, i owas wish to be alone. OWAS!! EVer since sec2 that stupid thing done by that stupid gal i owas wish to be alone. Yet, i noe its not possible. Its IMPOSSIBLE for one to live all alone. NOBODY HAD THE ABILITY. WE ARE DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER.
If i wasnt born now. If i was to born centuries ago, when everything seems possible. GO on wandering, fishing, farming, or even lived in an island where onli me and the animal exist, its paradise. SIMPLY PARADISE.
THE WORLD IS COMPLICATED. Frens turning into enemies, family become strangers, colleagues become devil, work becomes hell. F*** F*** F***. I jus wans to keep swearing till the end of the world. When people likes you, you are afraid of their support, but when people hates you, you have nothing to fear. You can do wateva you want, cos nothing is worse than that.

End of IF I CAN NOT CARE

Thursday, May 24, 2007
@ 10:02 AM

Have been down for a few days with block nose and sore throat. Wednseday, jus so happen that both me and enting fall sick together. Its not like those normal cough or anything, i jus feel weak and enting is as though her whole body was aching. Then the 2 of us decided to skip T&D lesson, which we think that it caused some unhappiness from the T&D tutor. Budden haiz, its not like we reali pon or anything, its real OK!
Running on mild fever through the nite and today at sch im fine (except for the running nose part), budden poor enting still running a fever. Haiz. Think hers is much more serious than mine by. My peak is yesterday while hers, tink its today ba.
Well, then nite went play basketball with dad, bro and sis. Initially i refused to go, then its onli after some considerations that the urge to play comes in. Furthermore, i should pespire more in order to recover faster..haha. Well, do some shooting and running before someone came and wanna challenge my dad 2 on 2. Thats the firs time me and my dad played as a team. Initially the game is ok, still had the energy to run about and enjoy the game, but by the time we are at the last few balls, my battery run flat. The four years of emptiness and absence of training had left me with nothing but fats. Haiz. Thankz to dad, we trash. Out of 11, i tink i onli score 2 or 3.
Well, its been so long since i touched basketball. Occasionally the urge to play will come, but find no one to play with. Its rare that i can play match, tink the last match i played is around 2002 when the team is playing national champ. Haha. Thats like 5 years ago!!!
On the whole, fun and tired day. Hope enting will recover fast from her fever. Nite everybody.

End of Basketball

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
@ 6:30 AM

Six weeks had passed since school reopen. Life was nothing but hectic, nothing but rushing projects after projects. Howeva, something had turned out better in school compared to five weeks before when we firs met our new classmates. Now at least, the 2 groups of chinese speaking people (some english) can mix rather well. Well, its not like the two groups will go to lunch together, but on the bottom line, Hi and Byes are necessary now. Furthermore, sometimes i enjoyed the teasing of SzeMay by the 3 surname in one name guy. Though, sometimes the teasing gets little over or make my hair stands...haha. Yah, and theres one more thing. Somehow, i gotta thanz this tutorial class. Cos without this class, i will not be able to speak to the gal whom i owas dislike. A few years after separation and back to the same class, have made me more matured and accepting towards her. Thanz god that im no longer prejudice against her.
Next, im enjoying my writing than before. Just some time ago, when im so bleak bout wat i wanna do. To publish book, write scripts and stuff like that. I start to doubt myself if, im more of a maths & science person than a literature type of person. But things change on Sunday when im ready to expose some of the stuff that i've wrote to Enting, she actuali starts to encourage me on my writing career. Im a lil nervous before i send her e link cos its the firs time eva that im opening it to someone else besides my cousin and im afraid that the critics and feedback isnt too good. Im so relieved and happy when she gave me her comment. Ahaha. Then just yesterday nite, i let my dad read some of the stuff i've wrote oso. Not too much of negative and positive opinion but at least somehow he recognise what i write. Now now, my confidence is at its higher peak and im reali determine to continue to write for the rest of my life. Haha.
So, that will be all. Nite everybody. Love everyone who makes my life. MUACKS!

End of Life Recently